Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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