I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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