So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can't special order awesome
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize