New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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