he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
