please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize