did you get engaged???
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
