So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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