How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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