Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
