Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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