My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
