His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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