she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
