Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
