and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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