Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize