I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
