D3 body, D1 cock
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
