Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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