you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
