My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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