i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
