He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
