But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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