I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
