Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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