And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
