my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
