saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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