So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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