it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
