People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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