i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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