the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
