I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
