this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
