I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
