I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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