i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
