and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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