Define "chronic" masturbator.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.