Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.