i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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