I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize