She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
