my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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