Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
