last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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