You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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