Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
