You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
