Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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