We need to rekindle our bromance
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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