I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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