i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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