i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
