I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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