He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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