so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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