What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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