think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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