We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
