I puked a lego.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
