Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
